random wrap up PT 1

I do something about every two weeks or so (this time just about three) on Facebook that I think I should share with my kittens on here. Just like a little breif wrap up of what the hell I’ve been up to. Its usually a little more uplifting/intresting- today aint that day 🙂

In the past 20 days I’ve

 

Spent an entire day travelling

Felt Disneyesque romance

Slept on the phone like I was some sort of teenage kitten

Visited our nation’s capital

Realized it was nothing but the blood of Jesus that kept me from stomping a hole in someone’s behind

Was stuck in DC

Was rescued by my good friend Kat and her Fiancé Candis

Had a first kiss

Kept quiet when I shouldn’t have

Wouldn’t shut up when perhaps I should’ve

Forgave someone who didn’t ask for forgiveness

Cooked for my friends

Smiled when I rather have screamed

Made things unnecessarily difficult

 

 more on all of this to come!

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writer’s block

Y’all shit has gotten real- the wordsmith is at a loss for words. I enjoy running this blog- its been about a year, I’d like to bring a new element or two to help me pump myself up about it. Lets be honest (ha lesbihonest!) I do this for me, its just more fun when I’m keeping my readers entertained too. You can pick up to three options so dont be shy- THANKS IN ADVANCE

 

 

Single Black Female

Being single like a dollar bill has taught me a lot! I’ve learned that being alone won’t be the be the death of me and that in this time of romantic solitude I’ve had time to make up a fictitious character based on all the encounters I’ve had both good and bad with these girls. Rather than naming each desirable trait from every girl I’ve dated, crushed on or a sexy friend and subsequently getting an unbearable amount of texts and calls demanding an explanation of my choices I thought I’d do something a little more fun. Why not make a quick little faux singles ad—eeek!

SBLF (single black lesbian femme) NISObiifhic (not in search of- but if I find her its cool) a woman who is damn near brilliant. Must love walks to the park and playing at the playground. An appreciation for tea and tea time is preferred. Must make love to me as if your life depends on it! Please taste like a delicious calorie free snack and allow me to explore your body as though it’s a new world. An extensive lexicon is considered to be of importance as I am a wordsmith. Must enjoy homemade gourmet foods and have an adventurous palate because I am a culinary beast. A woman who is physically female but internally is more like a gay man seems to fit me well; you know,someone I could be submissive with but still tries a little tenderness.  A love of Anita baker would help you understand my heart’s truest feelings. Artsy chicks are preferential I don’t care what art moves you most. While being classically attractive is nice- an acquired taste appeal is more my jam. Let’s talk aesthetics: I love an interesting mouth-, large lips, big teeth, Big mouth or perhaps an overbite will make me swoon so long as the teeth are well groomed, white and straightish. I personally am a girl who is considered a full figured; my thighs are besties and I am quite short (meaty if you will). I prefer my women to be slender (like vegetables). I’ll bring the meat, you bring the veggies! MOST IMPORTANT: Please have your soul in order- spiritually void need not apply! I’ve taken the time to repair the cracks in my foundations; so, naturally I’d require the same in a potential suitor; if not yet repaired please have plans for renovations!

Ha! What a wonderful world this would be if this could actually be posted for the single lezzies to see and ONE woman who I’d find to be desirable, would read this AD and be witty enough to get me! But alas, my trumped up desires are far too lofty for real life; this I know. While perfection in love would be ideal- I’m mature enough to know love takes time to achieve all around goodness and perfection is rare. The “hopeful romantic” is losing hope y’all- blahhhh! I may never find a love that’s “right” and I’m learning to be okay with that

till next time

EeJay

my feelings are best expressd through song: sorry no official video not even with all the remakes

Extrovert turned inside out

I used to be a busy body, someone who always knew where the next turn up was and was there with a drink (or two) in hand. That life was beautifully exhausting and fun at the same time. I ran with a sickening crowd of close friends where it was easy to forget about what really mattered or perhaps what was ailing me. I loved every single moment of this… I really and truly did. I was almost always buzzed or drunk to the point where I was recently told I behaved like Drunk Goldie Hawn in The First Wives club back then.

I recently have wanted nothing more than to be alone- it at times causes extreme discomfort to be around people unless its by my own choosing on my terms. If I halfheartedly agree to do something with people I know very well I find it very hard to fake the funk like I’m enjoying myself and find a quiet and easy exit strategy without bidding my loved ones adieu. You might see how this would be problematic for a person who was once a social butterfly. Butterflies never go back into a cocoon to become caterpillars! So because of all this I have been labeled distant, sometimey, weird, aloof, etc by people who have no clue what this change is that I’m going through due to NO choice of my own. My birthday is next week and this is causing me real life panic.

This alone time has been lonely as fuck; like, no shit…. I still experience  loneliness- but in groups I feel like I’m drowning. Yet while in my lonely state- I’ve been crazy productive: on so many levels mentally,spiritually  and physically.  I Realized I’m super good at doing a ton of things I never imaged I could do and developed talents I knew I had… decided to write children’s books, made a legit piece of furniture, I have been cooking crazy good healthy food,  found a new tea regimen that really makes my day better, I’m even teaching Sunday school to the kids at my church home. I’ve always hated the term “Finding myself” one because I go nowhere without myself- its impossible…. But now I get it. I’m finding exactly what it is that makes me the dopest me that I’ve ever been. Would it be good to share this with my friends and they get it? fuck yes! Half of them are over me (and that’s cool, I guess) Most wont get it, but I have three who do.  To you three I appreciate it- more than yall will ever know.

as always- my feelings are best expressed through song- really its only the first three bars (hmmm there goes the number three again). Its jammy nonetheless- I love SBTRKT

ITS COMPLICATED WHEN YOU GRAVITATE TOWARDS YOURSELF

sorry there’s no official video 😦

Till next time Lil Lezzies-

EeJay

PS:I’m not going nuts

Vagina preference. We all have one.

Look, we all like to keep our vaginas a certain kind of way in addition to that we all prefer vaginas we shall we say “entertain” a certain way. Please help me out! Vagina anxiety due to hairdo is real!

Lesbians… we all know each other, no?

Hey little lesbians- I’ve been thinking about the Six Degrees of Separation as it applies to lesbian interactions especially in Atlanta, GA. In case you don’t know anything about the Six Degrees of Separation theory let me give you a little lesson. Six degrees of separation is the philosophy that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world, so that a chain of “a friend of a friend” statements can be made to connect any two people in six steps at most. So think about it, there’s like 0-1 degrees of separation when it comes to lesbianism (well at least in Atlanta). I keep saying “in Atlanta” because this is where I live. I don’t know a damn about Milwaukee Dykin.

So, I’ve been seeing this delightful woman, Little Miss Love Song, I haven’t written about her/us because I’ve given my word that I wouldn’t. I really have so many nice things to say but let me stop before I infringe on our agreement. Anyway, She asked me about the women I’d been seeing previous to when she and I started seeing each other. She called out a random woman from my past that I’d gone on 7-11 dates with recently. This chick I call Little Miss Inconsistent- because she is just that… mixed signal slinging, pop up as she pleases etc. Hence why I haven’t written about her, She’s not around enough. Let me get back on track. Little Miss Love Song and Little Miss Inconsistent are acquainted through one or two mutual friends. While this lack of separation is annoying it’s not problematic for me.

The rundown: One of my good friends ex-girlfriends is the now boo of my bestie from my late teens and early twenties. Shit, if we’re going to be honest I’m “guilty” of seeing someone who is an ex of woman that I’ve been shall we say…. Friendly with. Little Miss Asshole is sorta besties with someone I’ve been intimate with. So I say all of this to ask a question; does the lack of degrees of separation make it impossible to maintain the “G-code”? G-code meaning you don’t deal with someone who is cool with someone you’ve dealt with in the past and/or ex boo of your friend’s homegirl. I feel it’s not impossible to maintain the G-code but it could be wasted efforts. Like don’t be a complete ho about it, don’t be the smash n’ pass between a crew. But if the bitches ain’t “bruhs” is it cool? Like where do you draw the line? Birds of a feather flock together, so quality bitches are bound to know each other if only just in passing.

Shit is stressful if you let it be, luckily for me… I don’t do stress. I’m grown, I’m not malicious, and I’m mindful of karma and people’s feelings. But really, what’s a girl to do?!

Little Miss Can’t Keep a Bitch

So I’ve been thinking… maybe I’m one of those girls who thinks too highly of themselves. If we’re going to be honest I can’t keep a bitch. Or perhaps I cant keep the ones worth keeping but still that’s something I need to explore. A while ago on my tumblr I talked about how people should come with a list of their side effects an idea I got from Dimples (thanks again, 3 years later).

I know myself well. I curse like a sailor, my attitude is nothing to play with, I can be a nag, I’m also not great with forgiveness, I tend to be a bit cocky, my patience is beyond thin and lastly I tend to see things my way… almost always. Now for the good: I’m smart, I love The Lord, I’m not ugly, I can cook, I’m well spoken, ambitious, funny, my ass is huge (in a good way) I love a good time and I’m a DOWN ASS BITCH I can really go on all day!

I do truly believe that my good qualities outweigh my bad qualities. But why is it that good girls run for the hills when I can’t shake the dogs for the life of me?!  I honestly don’t know if I’m going to solve my issue through this post but I guess its all in good fun.

I conducted a quick little survey on two of my exes; One being Little Miss Crazytown and Little Miss One Who Got Away (one day I will go more into depth about her). I thought it might be good to talk to two of my ex-lovers to figure where I may have went wrong so that net time I might have a fighting chance with love . I didn’t edit their answers in anyway I hope this will help y’all grasp their characters better

So I had to edit this post due to the havoc it caused with both of my exes. Now let me say this: I honestly didn’t intend to upset anyone. It was all cool just two days ago, now people that I care about are upset. While I think (as do most of my readers) that this was an AMAZING and informative portion of the post. but whatever, its down now. This is the ONE and ONLY time I will edit any post for anyone. WHEN YOU VISIT MY BLOG COME WITH THE “IT AINT FOR EVERYBODY” MINDSET PLEASE.

So thats that. One is clearly a dickwad and the other one isn’t… you be the judge. They did help me realize that I’m obviously NOT delusional .. my good outweighs my bad by far! So now what? Why am I single?! Bitches be crazy… THATS WHY!

Till next time

Little Miss Lesbo