trouble dont last

I know some of y’all read my post and think “ain’t no way she is really going through this for real”- by the way I do! While others of you may read my posts and think “She deserves a good woman” I do, don’t I?! Since Little Miss Daddy’s (LMD) sudden exit from my life I really wasn’t in the mood to date. I knew I needed to reevaluate the type of woman I was allowing in my world in a romantic capacity. I focused on my health, business and hair (all are flourishing-thank you!) When I had almost gotten used to being unattached… someone very special enters. This post isn’t really to tell y’all all about my new lil baby; it’s more or less to talk about good karma.

Seriously speaking, dating fuckboi after fuckboi will take a toll on even the strongest of women. They all weren’t the same type of fuckboi. Some of them were subcategories to fuckbois including but not limited to: asshats, whores, fucktards, and emotional infants. Even after dealing with the shits if I decided to deal with a woman I make sure I NEVER hold her responsible for what anyone else did. I deep down believe in love and kept hope alive that one day by the grace of God a good woman would come into my life. I ignored naysayers who told me to lower my moral standards and just be a ho like everyone else.

Then out of nowhere I meet a super nice woman who is from the Bay Area (bae is from The Bay) she is hella kind, made of high moral fiber, smart. I’m not writing this to brag or anything. I’m just fucking happy not to be dealing with an asshat! Good karma is a real thing

till next time

EeJay

my feelings to song (sorta, well the hook)


 

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Hindsight is 20/20

So after being removed from all of my exes and past situations for a while I’ve gained a bit of clarity on our interactions. After gaining a bit of clarity I realized that most of the little misses were wrongly named be it due to me naming them while mad or still smitten. Some names will change for the better while others may change to slightly less favorable pseudonyms- all I can do is promise it will be EXACTLY how I feel

OLD:Little Miss One Who got away NEW:Little Miss Wrong Timing: I met this woman when I was at the peak of bitchiness and the valley of self love. She asked me to go to church and slow down on the clubs and drinking and I couldn’t. Who I am today would be exactly who she needed then… Timing was off that’s all.
OLD: Little Miss Crazytown NEW:Little Miss Lesson Learned: in this relationship I learned my limits. I never thought I could love someone so much despite all of her sneaky underhanded shit she did while I remained faithful I loved her thinking that my love was strong enough to fix her… It wasn’t. That was a hard lesson to accept but I will never need to be taught it again.
OLD: Little Miss Asshole NEW: Little Miss STILL an Asshole: I know she’ll be in her feelings about this but, whatever. You are an asshole plain and simple.
OLD: Little Miss Love Song REMAINS THE SAME : You have a kind heart your soul and face are beautiful like a love song. I miss our friendship
OLD: Little Miss Baby Gap NEW:Little Miss Mommy Issues: baby girl is cute as fuck but she’s trouble. I wasn’t in a place to provide the emotional support she needed. Her drinking was habitual and borderline dependent. Her drunken tantrums were reminiscent of a sleepy toddler! Mama hadn’t accepted that her mother wasn’t with “that gay shit” and enjoyed dating women with their own shit so she could be as gay as she pleased in someone else’s space.
OLD: Little Miss Serendipity NEW: Little Miss Stay ‘Woke’: while our interactions were both random and amazing I’m not fully sure that we were intended to date. I was in a state of unawareness and you woke me up and planted a seed deep that would never allow me to fall back into the coma you woke me from. I appreciate who she was in my life at that time and who she is now.
OLD: Little Miss Better Late than Never NEW:Little Miss Interesting the short stint I spent tangled in her web of insomnia, worst vaccation EVER, odd friendships and first full body climaxes was interesting to say the least. Thanks girl.
OLD: Little Miss Dream Seller NEW: Little Miss Drug Pusher she came into my life at a time where my depression was at its deepest and my anxiety was at an all time high and although she sold dreams of whimsy and wrote checks of love she knew she couldn’t cash her fuckery had a good feeling to it. I became addicted to her high I needed that shit; or so I thought. A codependency realized late in the game is better than never at all… Right?!
OLD:Little Miss Something New NEW: Little Miss Church Clothes I wasn’t even looking for anyone I was alone and happy. I can never deny that she has that “classic man” thing down pact and it was alluring. Much like your pseudonym suggests I have no use for church clothes outside of the sanctuary. You were an excellent look for church and I should’ve left you right there. I fear she has no clue how predatory she really is Mama is “wolf in sheep’s clothing” personified . Word to the “wise”:while in church PRAY to become who you dress up as don’t PREY on good girls.
OLD: Yes NEW:friend all I have for her is a heartfelt “thank you”
That was nice! I read no one for filth… I just stood in my current truth.

E-dating or whatever

I’ve been pretty much single since November 2013. I mean have I been dating here and there but no one has been my official “Little Miss”. Sorta early in my single life after consulting my then turn up twin Supe in regards to my romantic boredom and how Little Miss Lesbo would dry up with no new Little Misses I decided to sign up for an online lesbian dating app called Brenda (now called Wapa). I mean, what could be the worst thing to happen? I meet some absolute wacko people what would make for good blogging?! Wapa asks you a couple of questions (in my opinion not enough) and primarily just finds women close to you and lets you browse through countless pictures of pretty bland (both visually and conversationally) women. I met one cool girl on there she was like minded and super supportive which was cool. Wapa became a snooze pretty quickly.
At the suggestion of Little Miss Better Late Than Never I joined OKCupid (OKC), which is a dating app that allows people regardless of sexual orientation to meet, she said they had a pretty good compatibility quiz and wanted to see how our compatibility fared. According to OKC we had a compatibility of 95% according to the universe we were like 14% compatible. Little Miss better Late than Never and I didn’t work out and I kept OKC again cause I thought It might eventually lead to a post or perhaps a romantic spark. Now OKC has led to more conversations and dates than any other app. I think OKC asks more questions that will lead to finding out if it’s worth messaging someone. With that said until as of very recent it hasn’t led to many people who can keep my attention past coffee, dinner, or a random trip to a Korean Spa. I met a couple of women who were very nice but a bit too eager for me and perhaps couldn’t handle my strong personality or my current outlook on dating.
I was on the verge of deleting these apps because I had absolutely nothing to say about my experiences- NOTHING be it good or bad I was quite indifferent. Then enters this delightful whole (meaning complete) ass woman. She is super new and I will talk about her soon considering she sticks around. Just know I enjoy her, she is CREATIVE as shit, kind, makes me smile, has done the inner work so she understand my journey. We can talk Maryland riots and the current state of Black America, sip tea/coffee, burn frankincense, PRAY TOGETHER and then talk arbitrary shit celeb gossip all in one day. I enjoy her company very much and even if things don’t remain romantic I think we could be friends. I like the way her sweet lovely hands grab on my ass. As of right now we are keeping it “light and sweet” as she puts it so I’m not going to give her a Little Miss pseudonym; Instead I will call her YES.
Why did I write this post? To let yall know that sometimes you gotta look outside of the box to broaden your dating pool! Let me tell y’all this… for me personally the club has NEVER really been an ideal meeting ground; and the women in church have more issues than a little bit so with a little patience it looks like this might pay off.
The Hopeful romantic
Eejay
TRY THESE  FREE ONLINE DATING (not fucking) APPS if you feel like it… I mean I did.
WAPA, OKCUPID, lesarion (all on iphone for sure I dunno about other phones)
No sponsorships just thought I’d help y’all out

NO SONG SORRY

FRIENDmance

White men have been on to some real shit for eons THE BROMANCE! I was talking to my favorite cousin, Little Miss Goose, about my addiction to companionship and how dope it would be to have someone (a friend) who I could do datey things with without the pressure of actually dating them. Both of us agreed that a FRIENDmance would best suit me. The rules of engagement would be tough for me I knew this… I’ve never been a fan of rules. But when we’re talking uncharted territories and blurred lines there has got to be some sort of guidelines! The most pressing issue at hand is do you fuck your friend?! Or is this just plainly and simply an innocent cuddle and a playful pat on the ass is as far as this goes type of situation? I’m not one to take part in “no strings attached” sex acts. To be honest I prefer my sex to be very stringy: heart strings, soul strings, mental strings… ha! So um perhaps no sex? Yea… no sex unless there’s a connection of cosmological magnitudes. No annoying questions such as “who is that bitch?” or “who are you with” more raunchy flirty questions like “Say, mama- what that mouth do?!” oh- and statements of affirmation and sweetness such as “I miss your face” “You’re so friggin pretty”.     Y’all catch my drift yet? No awkwardness cause they’re already your friend. If we we’re to hold hands there wouldn’t be any of that annoying fidgetiness or flirty hand petting cause we would just fit together comfortably; you know on account of there’s already an established friendship or at least familiarity.

Then I woke up-would this be dope beyond imagination? Fuck yes! Is it ideal for someone who is about this life? Yup! Am I the girl who could be a willing continual participant in this?! Hell nah shawty! That isn’t me- I’m too smart to ever feel like I’m just an option. I need to know a chick is mine and vice versa. Friends first…. Okay FRIENDmance???? Not for me baby girl! I know me, and I know simply “I can’t go for that” I am all about happiness and the spread of it but my first responsibility is to preserve my own happiness.

My feelings are best expressed through song

Little Miss Serendipity

So this was the second valentineless Valentine’s Day in a row for me, and I was totally fine with It. I have literally no interest in awkward “romantic” rituals done out of tradition by someone who doesn’t love me. I spent the day doing normal shit and spent the evening with my friends/family most of whom are single at  Miya Baileyand Corey Davis’ art show. We had a cute time there …and dissipated on not so cute terms. Blah-
I decided to turn in early….when get an innocent text from someone I’ve known for like seven years  at 11:04. She and I have always been cool-perhaps attracted but never made a move due to various reasons. Prior to this text we had been conversing here and there for healthy conversations sake -you know? After texting a while she calls me. We talk about everything from astrology to relationships,careers, art, chosen expression of art, religion it was like an intergalactic carpet ride, real shit! After realizing it was 3am we decide to wind down and make our descent towards earth , she asked me if I had plans for later that day- I said I was pretty much free. Her response was “let’s get up” I casually responded “k” I didn’t know if it was a date or what.
So…. Enter Little Miss Serendipity. We settled on meeting at a local feminist book store, Charis We read to one another found out more about each other, she got me a book I’d been interested in for years My Princess Boy After agreeing to call the day what it was…. A DATE! We grabbed some food from my favorite “Cubexican” restaurant Lafonda. Then- she took me to the cutest tea shop without knowing how much I love tea and tea parties! At this point I was pretty much on cloud nine!!
We both knew the other had prior plans but weren’t done with each other. Luckily our plans didn’t have conflicting times. We resolved to do both things together and it was cool.
We went to breakfast around 2am and made plans to spend the day together the next day (Sunday). Spending the day together consisted of two church services (so yes, Jesus from 10:30-5ish) YES, she loves The Lord AND tea, has her SOUL together , the most beautiful deep mind, and did I mention mama’s beauty is equivalent to a cool breeze on a hot summer day?! After we wrapped up with church she told me we we re going to see Alvin Ailey!!! (Insert teenage girl like squeal here)
So nah, I didn’t have a valentine; but the whole weekend was crazy romantic in a way that suits me. My favorite things were included…. Music, friends, tea Hispanic food, dance, AND JESUS!
I call her serendipity cause I wasn’t looking for her(or anyone), but she’s sho ’nuff a good thing! I know a lot of y’all aren’t into joy and happiness,ha! As long as she’s around I anticipate lots of it. So far- Everyday with this woman is the 14th.

My feelings are best expressed trough song….
I was happy before but now…..

Its Not Me- Its You.

Last week I was at Bible Study when I heard something that really stuck with me “Just because they aren’t for you doesn’t mean they are a bad a person” Sounds like a simple thought for most; but for me personally I have a really tough time cutting people off who are generally good and probably GREAT mates for someone else. Learning to tactfully trim people from your life is essential no matter how good they are especially when it comes to matters of the heart. The trick is letting the people go for real not just sending them on a sabbatical.
I will finally go on record and say Little Miss Asshole would be an outstanding woman for a girl who can deal with her. I am almost certain I am not that girl. She is sensitive, attractive, gainfully employed, loves to shop, well spoken, educated, likes shoes and really finds joy in purchasing them for her mate etc. However it’s not a package that will keep me satisfied. It’s like this: women are like food some are main courses (the protein), others are side dishes (girls that are good little side pieces but won’t ever be enough on their own), while some are desserts (yummy little fun girls), and others are buffets (take what you want leave what you don’t but keep in mind someone has been breathing all over it). If you understand this doctrine you know that you shouldn’t just have protein or just desert. I am NOT LOOKING for a mate but if I were to happen upon one just know she will HAVE to be a full course meal. So is Little Miss Asshole’s Package a bad one? Nah- it’s just I’m not the intended recipient! Imagine opening your Grandma’s year supply of Depends during Christmas- totally practical for her, but you have complete control over your urine and bowels so you don’t need them!
Letting someone you know deep down isn’t good for you for whatever the reason doesn’t mean they are an awful person it just means that they aren’t your “forever”. It takes an incredible sense of discernment to be able to do this correctly. Trust me I know- I’ve cut people off both far too soon and far too late. Like Kanye said in ‘Heard em Say’ “They say people in ya life are seasons- and anything happen it’s for a reason”.

My feelings are best expressed in song
Heard Em Say- Kaye West


till next time…

2014 resolutions

Ok, I’m back- yes after yet another hiatus. I really needed to collect my thoughts and quite frankly get my love life together. Let me give y’all a quick catch up. I started back dating Little Miss Asshole, she moved in and everything. Things still just couldn’t work out; I don’t think either of us was fully committed to making things peaceful, so it was a constant warzone. She promptly moved out and into a living situation I’m just not a fan of (I’m sorry that I’m not sorry!) Enter Little Miss Baby Gap. She is just as pretty as she wants to be, body is amazing however mama is 5 years my junior. What she lacks in honesty, fidelity and maturity she makes up in gaped toothed smiles that just melt my heart.

So now that y’all are basically caught up let’s talk present day. I’m single like a dollar bill and it’s the top of the year; you know how MFs be on that “New year, new me bull”? I was sort of inspired by this faulty notion- “New year, new dating perspective”. Let’s be honest ya girl isn’t getting ANY younger… So I have no time to play with, coach or tutor these bitches. I know where my standards are, however, I only have two “rules” when it comes to dating  1. No puss on the first date 2. Don’t go “cannon balling” in to love- just stick your toe in. I for one have NO interest in being the same fool twice. With all that said I’ve decided to give myself 2014 dating resolutions.

2014 dating Resolutions

  1. Live right now, you can’t compare these new gals to ya old heads. You can’t expect them to love you whole heartedly like Little Miss One Who Got Away. Or have the “fuck with me you know I got itness” of Little Miss Crazytown
  2. Don’t make excuses for these females, and while you’re at it- don’t accept theirs
  3. No matter how horny you get she can’t get the puss until she has stimulated your mind and won your heart.
  4. Remember to close one door fully before you open another
  5. Don’t be bitter, but don’t forget what you’ve learned from bitter woman R&B classics such as Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard it All before” and Fantasia’s “Free Yourself”
  6. Does she support your dreams, does she have aspirations you can support?
  7. Remember these bitches show you who they are in week one don’t ignore that shit.
  8. Is she just a “fungirl” if yes, no big deal- just treat her as such
  9. Quit cooking for these chicks- your cooking is REMARKABLE not everyone deserves it!
  10. Remember in the words of O.C Allen III “at this point in my life I’m looking for faucets- not toilets”. Meaning I need someone who’s adding to my life not someone who just a receptacle for pee and poo
  11.  Is she your intellectual equal or higher? If nah- bye girl
  12. Despite my foul mouth I have a very strong relationship with my God. From here on out I gotta require that my mate has one too- if not do you want to work on your spirituality? I can’t have a spirituality void person in my life again. I go back and forth on if I only see myself with someone with the same religious affiliations as me.

I think that will do it; I mean God only needed 10 commandments who do I think I am to have 12 resolutions? Well I hope someone besides me will hold be accountable for this- I mean that’s kinda the purpose of this.

I will post again soon-
EVJ

My feelings are best expressed through song: Here I Go Again- White Snake
enjoy!