FRIENDmance

White men have been on to some real shit for eons THE BROMANCE! I was talking to my favorite cousin, Little Miss Goose, about my addiction to companionship and how dope it would be to have someone (a friend) who I could do datey things with without the pressure of actually dating them. Both of us agreed that a FRIENDmance would best suit me. The rules of engagement would be tough for me I knew this… I’ve never been a fan of rules. But when we’re talking uncharted territories and blurred lines there has got to be some sort of guidelines! The most pressing issue at hand is do you fuck your friend?! Or is this just plainly and simply an innocent cuddle and a playful pat on the ass is as far as this goes type of situation? I’m not one to take part in “no strings attached” sex acts. To be honest I prefer my sex to be very stringy: heart strings, soul strings, mental strings… ha! So um perhaps no sex? Yea… no sex unless there’s a connection of cosmological magnitudes. No annoying questions such as “who is that bitch?” or “who are you with” more raunchy flirty questions like “Say, mama- what that mouth do?!” oh- and statements of affirmation and sweetness such as “I miss your face” “You’re so friggin pretty”.     Y’all catch my drift yet? No awkwardness cause they’re already your friend. If we we’re to hold hands there wouldn’t be any of that annoying fidgetiness or flirty hand petting cause we would just fit together comfortably; you know on account of there’s already an established friendship or at least familiarity.

Then I woke up-would this be dope beyond imagination? Fuck yes! Is it ideal for someone who is about this life? Yup! Am I the girl who could be a willing continual participant in this?! Hell nah shawty! That isn’t me- I’m too smart to ever feel like I’m just an option. I need to know a chick is mine and vice versa. Friends first…. Okay FRIENDmance???? Not for me baby girl! I know me, and I know simply “I can’t go for that” I am all about happiness and the spread of it but my first responsibility is to preserve my own happiness.

My feelings are best expressed through song