I know some of y’all read my post and think “ain’t no way she is really going through this for real”- by the way I do! While others of you may read my posts and think “She deserves a good woman” I do, don’t I?! Since Little Miss Daddy’s (LMD) sudden exit from my life I really wasn’t in the mood to date. I knew I needed to reevaluate the type of woman I was allowing in my world in a romantic capacity. I focused on my health, business and hair (all are flourishing-thank you!) When I had almost gotten used to being unattached… someone very special enters. This post isn’t really to tell y’all all about my new lil baby; it’s more or less to talk about good karma.
Seriously speaking, dating fuckboi after fuckboi will take a toll on even the strongest of women. They all weren’t the same type of fuckboi. Some of them were subcategories to fuckbois including but not limited to: asshats, whores, fucktards, and emotional infants. Even after dealing with the shits if I decided to deal with a woman I make sure I NEVER hold her responsible for what anyone else did. I deep down believe in love and kept hope alive that one day by the grace of God a good woman would come into my life. I ignored naysayers who told me to lower my moral standards and just be a ho like everyone else.
Then out of nowhere I meet a super nice woman who is from the Bay Area (bae is from The Bay) she is hella kind, made of high moral fiber, smart. I’m not writing this to brag or anything. I’m just fucking happy not to be dealing with an asshat! Good karma is a real thing
So after being removed from all of my exes and past situations for a while I’ve gained a bit of clarity on our interactions. After gaining a bit of clarity I realized that most of the little misses were wrongly named be it due to me naming them while mad or still smitten. Some names will change for the better while others may change to slightly less favorable pseudonyms- all I can do is promise it will be EXACTLY how I feel
OLD:Little Miss One Who got away NEW:Little Miss Wrong Timing: I met this woman when I was at the peak of bitchiness and the valley of self love. She asked me to go to church and slow down on the clubs and drinking and I couldn’t. Who I am today would be exactly who she needed then… Timing was off that’s all. OLD: Little Miss Crazytown NEW:Little Miss Lesson Learned: in this relationship I learned my limits. I never thought I could love someone so much despite all of her sneaky underhanded shit she did while I remained faithful I loved her thinking that my love was strong enough to fix her… It wasn’t. That was a hard lesson to accept but I will never need to be taught it again. OLD: Little Miss Asshole NEW: Little Miss STILL an Asshole: I know she’ll be in her feelings about this but, whatever. You are an asshole plain and simple. OLD: Little Miss Love Song REMAINS THE SAME : You have a kind heart your soul and face are beautiful like a love song. I miss our friendship OLD: Little Miss Baby Gap NEW:Little Miss Mommy Issues: baby girl is cute as fuck but she’s trouble. I wasn’t in a place to provide the emotional support she needed. Her drinking was habitual and borderline dependent. Her drunken tantrums were reminiscent of a sleepy toddler! Mama hadn’t accepted that her mother wasn’t with “that gay shit” and enjoyed dating women with their own shit so she could be as gay as she pleased in someone else’s space. OLD: Little Miss Serendipity NEW: Little Miss Stay ‘Woke’: while our interactions were both random and amazing I’m not fully sure that we were intended to date. I was in a state of unawareness and you woke me up and planted a seed deep that would never allow me to fall back into the coma you woke me from. I appreciate who she was in my life at that time and who she is now. OLD: Little Miss Better Late than Never NEW:Little Miss Interesting the short stint I spent tangled in her web of insomnia, worst vaccation EVER, odd friendships and first full body climaxes was interesting to say the least. Thanks girl. OLD: Little Miss Dream Seller NEW: Little Miss Drug Pusher she came into my life at a time where my depression was at its deepest and my anxiety was at an all time high and although she sold dreams of whimsy and wrote checks of love she knew she couldn’t cash her fuckery had a good feeling to it. I became addicted to her high I needed that shit; or so I thought. A codependency realized late in the game is better than never at all… Right?! OLD:Little Miss Something New NEW: Little Miss Church Clothes I wasn’t even looking for anyone I was alone and happy. I can never deny that she has that “classic man” thing down pact and it was alluring. Much like your pseudonym suggests I have no use for church clothes outside of the sanctuary. You were an excellent look for church and I should’ve left you right there. I fear she has no clue how predatory she really is Mama is “wolf in sheep’s clothing” personified . Word to the “wise”:while in church PRAY to become who you dress up as don’t PREY on good girls. OLD: Yes NEW:friend all I have for her is a heartfelt “thank you”
That was nice! I read no one for filth… I just stood in my current truth.
I’ve been pretty much single since November 2013. I mean have I been dating here and there but no one has been my official “Little Miss”. Sorta early in my single life after consulting my then turn up twin Supe in regards to my romantic boredom and how Little Miss Lesbo would dry up with no new Little Misses I decided to sign up for an online lesbian dating app called Brenda (now called Wapa). I mean, what could be the worst thing to happen? I meet some absolute wacko people what would make for good blogging?! Wapa asks you a couple of questions (in my opinion not enough) and primarily just finds women close to you and lets you browse through countless pictures of pretty bland (both visually and conversationally) women. I met one cool girl on there she was like minded and super supportive which was cool. Wapa became a snooze pretty quickly.
At the suggestion of Little Miss Better Late Than Never I joined OKCupid (OKC), which is a dating app that allows people regardless of sexual orientation to meet, she said they had a pretty good compatibility quiz and wanted to see how our compatibility fared. According to OKC we had a compatibility of 95% according to the universe we were like 14% compatible. Little Miss better Late than Never and I didn’t work out and I kept OKC again cause I thought It might eventually lead to a post or perhaps a romantic spark. Now OKC has led to more conversations and dates than any other app. I think OKC asks more questions that will lead to finding out if it’s worth messaging someone. With that said until as of very recent it hasn’t led to many people who can keep my attention past coffee, dinner, or a random trip to a Korean Spa. I met a couple of women who were very nice but a bit too eager for me and perhaps couldn’t handle my strong personality or my current outlook on dating.
I was on the verge of deleting these apps because I had absolutely nothing to say about my experiences- NOTHING be it good or bad I was quite indifferent. Then enters this delightful whole (meaning complete) ass woman. She is super new and I will talk about her soon considering she sticks around. Just know I enjoy her, she is CREATIVE as shit, kind, makes me smile, has done the inner work so she understand my journey. We can talk Maryland riots and the current state of Black America, sip tea/coffee, burn frankincense, PRAY TOGETHER and then talk arbitrary shit celeb gossip all in one day. I enjoy her company very much and even if things don’t remain romantic I think we could be friends. I like the way her sweet lovely hands grab on my ass. As of right now we are keeping it “light and sweet” as she puts it so I’m not going to give her a Little Miss pseudonym; Instead I will call her YES.
Why did I write this post? To let yall know that sometimes you gotta look outside of the box to broaden your dating pool! Let me tell y’all this… for me personally the club has NEVER really been an ideal meeting ground; and the women in church have more issues than a little bit so with a little patience it looks like this might pay off.
The Hopeful romantic
TRY THESE FREE ONLINE DATING (not fucking) APPS if you feel like it… I mean I did.
WAPA, OKCUPID, lesarion (all on iphone for sure I dunno about other phones)
No sponsorships just thought I’d help y’all out
I do something about every two weeks or so (this time just about three) on Facebook that I think I should share with my kittens on here. Just like a little breif wrap up of what the hell I’ve been up to. Its usually a little more uplifting/intresting- today aint that day 🙂
In the past 20 days I’ve
Spent an entire day travelling
Felt Disneyesque romance
Slept on the phone like I was some sort of teenage kitten
Visited our nation’s capital
Realized it was nothing but the blood of Jesus that kept me from stomping a hole in someone’s behind
Was stuck in DC
Was rescued by my good friend Kat and her Fiancé Candis
Y’all shit has gotten real- the wordsmith is at a loss for words. I enjoy running this blog- its been about a year, I’d like to bring a new element or two to help me pump myself up about it. Lets be honest (ha lesbihonest!) I do this for me, its just more fun when I’m keeping my readers entertained too. You can pick up to three options so dont be shy- THANKS IN ADVANCE
Being single like a dollar bill has taught me a lot! I’ve learned that being alone won’t be the be the death of me and that in this time of romantic solitude I’ve had time to make up a fictitious character based on all the encounters I’ve had both good and bad with these girls. Rather than naming each desirable trait from every girl I’ve dated, crushed on or a sexy friend and subsequently getting an unbearable amount of texts and calls demanding an explanation of my choices I thought I’d do something a little more fun. Why not make a quick little faux singles ad—eeek!
SBLF (single black lesbian femme) NISObiifhic (not in search of- but if I find her its cool) a woman who is damn near brilliant. Must love walks to the park and playing at the playground. An appreciation for tea and tea time is preferred. Must make love to me as if your life depends on it! Please taste like a delicious calorie free snack and allow me to explore your body as though it’s a new world. An extensive lexicon is considered to be of importance as I am a wordsmith. Must enjoy homemade gourmet foods and have an adventurous palate because I am a culinary beast. A woman who is physically female but internally is more like a gay man seems to fit me well; you know,someone I could be submissive with but still tries a little tenderness. A love of Anita baker would help you understand my heart’s truest feelings. Artsy chicks are preferential I don’t care what art moves you most. While being classically attractive is nice- an acquired taste appeal is more my jam. Let’s talk aesthetics: I love an interesting mouth-, large lips, big teeth, Big mouth or perhaps an overbite will make me swoon so long as the teeth are well groomed, white and straightish. I personally am a girl who is considered a full figured; my thighs are besties and I am quite short (meaty if you will). I prefer my women to be slender (like vegetables). I’ll bring the meat, you bring the veggies! MOST IMPORTANT: Please have your soul in order- spiritually void need not apply! I’ve taken the time to repair the cracks in my foundations; so, naturally I’d require the same in a potential suitor; if not yet repaired please have plans for renovations!
Ha! What a wonderful world this would be if this could actually be posted for the single lezzies to see and ONE woman who I’d find to be desirable, would read this AD and be witty enough to get me! But alas, my trumped up desires are far too lofty for real life; this I know. While perfection in love would be ideal- I’m mature enough to know love takes time to achieve all around goodness and perfection is rare. The “hopeful romantic” is losing hope y’all- blahhhh! I may never find a love that’s “right” and I’m learning to be okay with that
till next time
my feelings are best expressd through song: sorry no official video not even with all the remakes
White men have been on to some real shit for eons THE BROMANCE! I was talking to my favorite cousin, Little Miss Goose, about my addiction to companionship and how dope it would be to have someone (a friend) who I could do datey things with without the pressure of actually dating them. Both of us agreed that a FRIENDmance would best suit me. The rules of engagement would be tough for me I knew this… I’ve never been a fan of rules. But when we’re talking uncharted territories and blurred lines there has got to be some sort of guidelines! The most pressing issue at hand is do you fuck your friend?! Or is this just plainly and simply an innocent cuddle and a playful pat on the ass is as far as this goes type of situation? I’m not one to take part in “no strings attached” sex acts. To be honest I prefer my sex to be very stringy: heart strings, soul strings, mental strings… ha! So um perhaps no sex? Yea… no sex unless there’s a connection of cosmological magnitudes. No annoying questions such as “who is that bitch?” or “who are you with” more raunchy flirty questions like “Say, mama- what that mouth do?!” oh- and statements of affirmation and sweetness such as “I miss your face” “You’re so friggin pretty”. Y’all catch my drift yet? No awkwardness cause they’re already your friend. If we we’re to hold hands there wouldn’t be any of that annoying fidgetiness or flirty hand petting cause we would just fit together comfortably; you know on account of there’s already an established friendship or at least familiarity.
Then I woke up-would this be dope beyond imagination? Fuck yes! Is it ideal for someone who is about this life? Yup! Am I the girl who could be a willing continual participant in this?! Hell nah shawty! That isn’t me- I’m too smart to ever feel like I’m just an option. I need to know a chick is mine and vice versa. Friends first…. Okay FRIENDmance???? Not for me baby girl! I know me, and I know simply “I can’t go for that” I am all about happiness and the spread of it but my first responsibility is to preserve my own happiness.
As I previously told you guys I’m going through an Anti-Social phase (lets pray it’s a phase). I really don’t enjoy being around people in the magnitude in which I used to- its not that they’ve done anything to me in particular; it just like my spirit seems to be in a state of unrest while I’m in an atmosphere where there’s just tons of people no matter how well I know them. This is problematic for a girl who has a group of friends say about…. 15-23 deep. Sounds cray-I know. I have a group of friends who are insanely talented, beautiful, sickening, and witty really and truly all around wonderful people for the most part. We take birthdays quite seriously we all get up effortlessly throw on something gagworthy and do whatever it is that the birthday girl/boy has planned (usually all weekend long). It’s a fun, Instagram worthy time almost every time we all get together- and birthdays?! (eye roll) Honey… they’re just magical.
This birthday was a bit different, well at least for me. Let me give y’all a little history: I was born on the First of April (yes, some people call it April Fool’s Day) AND my absentee father (God rest his soul) died on my 20th Birthday making my birthday even more of a historical shitshow. I go out of my way to ensure my birthday is something amazing yearly- because… that’s how I was raised, it’s MY day and it’s like New Year’s Day for just Me (and whoever else has my birthday). I sent out my b-day invites via text with some loose ass haphazard plans for the Saturday before my birthday that kind of made it clear I wasn’t really celebrating in my normal manner; nonetheless I expected a turnout of 15-20 people cause that just how we do. I began to get “not gunna make it girl” texts and calls for various valid reasons midday of the celebration and it soon settled in that this year was going to be totally different.
Long story short I celebrated my birthday with three people who I appreciate so stankin much My little Baby Cousin Shalaya, Our friend Tweek and our newest friend Malibu. I didn’t even have time to get in my feelings cause it wasn’t the fanfare I was accustomed to cause these clowns made sure I had a good time. We drank my specialty cocktail OTIS had pizza and shots, danced, laughed our asses off talked about everything from vagina lips to what it is to be a DAB (down ass bitch) On my actual birthday I worked, I got the usual text/calls/ tweets etc but the only person who made time to really fuck with me was Malibu. I’ve wanted my septum pierced since like 2007 but never had the balls to do it- So we went to get my septum pierced (midlife crisis much?) then I cooked my favorite meal for us partially to show her my gratitude partially cause I wanted Chilean Sea Bass, lobster/ avocado eggrolls and salad with Scallops and feta with a cute mango dressing.
So um….Happy New Ee-jay (the new year for me) I’m not upset with the ones who didn’t come through- I’m just so appreciative to the ones who did. I’m getting too grown to keep doing shit the same way anyhow. No better way to start new practices than New Years day right?
Till next time
My feelings are best described through song … Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday special- thank you for being a friend
I used to be a busy body, someone who always knew where the next turn up was and was there with a drink (or two) in hand. That life was beautifully exhausting and fun at the same time. I ran with a sickening crowd of close friends where it was easy to forget about what really mattered or perhaps what was ailing me. I loved every single moment of this… I really and truly did. I was almost always buzzed or drunk to the point where I was recently told I behaved like Drunk Goldie Hawn in The First Wives club back then.
I recently have wanted nothing more than to be alone- it at times causes extreme discomfort to be around people unless its by my own choosing on my terms. If I halfheartedly agree to do something with people I know very well I find it very hard to fake the funk like I’m enjoying myself and find a quiet and easy exit strategy without bidding my loved ones adieu. You might see how this would be problematic for a person who was once a social butterfly. Butterflies never go back into a cocoon to become caterpillars! So because of all this I have been labeled distant, sometimey, weird, aloof, etc by people who have no clue what this change is that I’m going through due to NO choice of my own. My birthday is next week and this is causing me real life panic.
This alone time has been lonely as fuck; like, no shit…. I still experience loneliness- but in groups I feel like I’m drowning. Yet while in my lonely state- I’ve been crazy productive: on so many levels mentally,spiritually and physically. I Realized I’m super good at doing a ton of things I never imaged I could do and developed talents I knew I had… decided to write children’s books, made a legit piece of furniture, I have been cooking crazy good healthy food, found a new tea regimen that really makes my day better, I’m even teaching Sunday school to the kids at my church home. I’ve always hated the term “Finding myself” one because I go nowhere without myself- its impossible…. But now I get it. I’m finding exactly what it is that makes me the dopest me that I’ve ever been. Would it be good to share this with my friends and they get it? fuck yes! Half of them are over me (and that’s cool, I guess) Most wont get it, but I have three who do. To you three I appreciate it- more than yall will ever know.
as always- my feelings are best expressed through song- really its only the first three bars (hmmm there goes the number three again). Its jammy nonetheless- I love SBTRKT
ITS COMPLICATED WHEN YOU GRAVITATE TOWARDS YOURSELF